To Andy on our ten year anniversary.

anniversaryTo my dearest Andy-

Ten years…Do you remember when that seemed so long from that night we said I Do? How it surely would never get here. How we would never be that old. And yet somehow here we are. Staring at our ten year anniversary. They weren’t kidding when they said it would be here before we knew it.

It is.

It has been a wild ten years hasn’t it? We have so many changes, have gone through so many changes since that hot evening on Memorial Day weekend ten years ago. I don’t think we realized where our paths would take us back then. That we would have an amazing son who is probably the Worlds best kid. Admit it, he is. While he may look and have my personality do not be fooled, he is your son as well. He can be stubborn and a goof ball. And he loves his mommy just as much as his dad does (ok maybe a little more but this is up for debate) Take it up with him. And the daughter we welcomed last year? I can not wait to see how much joy she will bring in to our lives. I can not wait to see just who she will become.

We have had some hard years there is no doubt about that. Number 7  in particular was exceptionally hard. I don’t think many realize just how close we were to calling it quits. Really really close. Marriage at times is often not what we think it is. It’s not easy. I think we had to learn the hard way that it takes time. It is adjustments and constant reminders to actually put down the phones, the computers, to turn off the televisions and have conversations. To check in. To remind each other that we aren’t just mommy and daddy. That we are husband and wife. Andy and Aleisha. To remind each other that I love you isn’t just some words to mutter at the end of the night. That they actually mean something.

That you mean something to one another.

I learned a lot that year. About myself, about you. About us. I learned how much we loved each other. How much we still love each other. Even if we hated one another for a moment. How I wouldn’t want to go on this ride with any one else. How there are destined to be good years, and bad years. That it is the bad years that make us appreciate the good ones that much more. And how we often learn more about ourselves and our relationships during the bad ones.

We made a lot of changes during that time. We did a lot more talking than I believe we ever had. And for that, I am thankful for the struggles because it taught me this; that I love you more than anything. I did not think it would be possible but somehow that year made us stronger, more solid.

Which brings us to our 10th year. Amazing to think about.

I can’t begin to tell you how thankful I am for you. How much I love you. You have gone above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to husband chores. I can not think of any other guy that automatically does things without asking. I can not begin to tell you how much each time you do something as simple as offer to cut a piece of meat, or help put on a bracelet makes me fall in love with you a little more. Likewise words can not express how much I adore watching you with the kids. The joy they bring to your face is indescribable. The joy you bring to their faces is indescribable. Truly it takes my breath way at times.

Please know this, you are one of the best guys I have ever known. You are one of the best fathers I know. Do not ever doubt this, do not doubt yourself. You are loved. Exceptionally so.

I love you.

No, we do not know what the future holds. I am not so naive to think every year will be spectacular. There will be other challenges to face. Other years that won’t go as according to plans. We will question, we will doubt and we will be tested. But I do know this, no matter what we will face it. We will embrace it.

Together.

And  what about love? Yes, we will love.

Yours truly,

Your wife.

 

Here’s to 5 months!

13254434_10154136048105883_7358667956715727491_nThere is that moment you have once you have a kid when you wonder what life was like before the little one was around.  You can’t even remember those days anymore. Surely we have always been a family of 4.

I had one of those yesterday while putting little lady’s 5 month sticker on her outfit. When had this happened? She can not be that old yet. I just had her!  And while I admit I miss those precious newborn days when it was just her and I in the living room while I was on leave, at the same time. I am loving this moment.

These moments.

This month has seen a lot of big changes.  Her giggles are becoming more infectious with each passing day. Gone are the accidental giggles. They have been taken over with a cute little baby chuckle that has grabbed the heart and the attention of anyone willing to listen and play along.

She could also babble all day to daddy, Logan and myself.  At times, they are so deep and serious almost that I often wonder what is going on her little head of hers. Yet at the same time, a minute later she is all smiles and sweet talking you like a champ. Even if it is in her own baby language.

We’ve also noticed how much more alert and aware of things she has become. No longer does she like to be held so she can’t see anything! And if you put a hockey game, or a baseball game on she is glued to the TV.

You can pretty much forget tummy time these days. She was never a fan of it to begin with but lately she has figured out to roll from her tummy on to her back, though she has yet to master the other way around. She will get there. And sitting up? You can tell she wants to sit up a lot more these days. She may not be able to sit unassisted yet, she is working on it. Getting stronger by the day, it has been incredible to see her reach each new thing or milestone every week.

She has also discovered her wonderful little hands are probably the best chew toy ever. While she does not appear to be teething yet, she is definitely getting a work out on those jaw muscles.

Harper had to undergo a ultrasound for her port wine stain on her foot. Everything turned out fine and it only seems to be superficial at this point which is good news. It will still have to be monitored and evaluated to make sure everything is all right still, but for the moment it is good news.

And lets hear it, she is finally in 0-3 month clothing! Most are still a little big but we are glad to see that she is moving in the right direction. It also means I should probably go through those drawers and change out to the bigger sizes we have been hoarding for awhile now.

I find it hard to believe that a month from now she will be six months old! Honestly I am really beginning to wonder just how that happened. And yet, I can not remember a time when she was not part of our lives. Much like it was with Logan, she seems as though she has been part of the family forever.

Here is to 5 months!

To watch or not to watch…

Tonight brings Game 6 to us from Pittsburgh, and I have a big decision to make.

To watch or not to watch.

Yes I know, what kind of fan am I if I don’t right? After all its the playoffs, and I know I should watch it. I know I should support the team and all. And yes I do. I love watching them, I love the hits the shots. The back and forth between these two teams. Its fun, its exciting and like it was on Saturday, a win is exhilarating. Its the the thought that if we win tonight we can bring it back home for game 7 on Thursday. It would be a comeback for years to come. So why shouldn’t I watch?

Yet, it is also emotional. It is hide my face under my hoodie with each goal that we get, it’s nail biting. It’s trying to stay cool and ignore each outburst that my husband does. If it is hard to watch as a fan, it is even harder when your husband is part of the organization. This is his job, his team. What they do depends on what he does and how he feels. While he may not agree with this, he does  not realize how emotional he gets, yes I am speaking of the hockey PMS. During playoffs it can be like riding a damn roller coaster. Believe me I fear our furniture will not survive another round if it is going to be like this.

And its knowing that if it all ends tonight, that I will have to listen to days of doubt, question and blame. I will have to come in to the office to coworkers who will no doubt want to discuss it with me-because somehow I get to be held responsible for their wins and losses- when I would rather be discussing anything other than hockey at that moment. Believe me I do not look forward, nor want to have these discussions.

And I will not even begin to go on about the oh so wonderful commentary from certain commentators. Because yea, lets just not get me started on that one. Since I have some strong words on the topic.

Perhaps the safer option for me in regards to it is to let my husband watch it from downstairs and do all the yelling he wants while I barricade myself up, upstairs while listening to the game on mute.