I am not a risk taker. I have never been one. Instead I am calculating. I play it safe. Afraid not of the failure, but rather the unknown. Is it worth it? Would it be worth it in the end? I suppose that could be seen as fear of failure though I do not think so. I am also quiet and shy especially until you get to know me.
Why do I bring this up?
Because I have been debating something for awhile now. What that something is, I am not yet ready to share. I have not yet made up my mind as to whether I will do it or not. I will say it is something totally and completely out of my comfort zone, which has a way of creeping in to my head and telling me I shouldn’t do this. I can’t do this. Ironically It also sounds a lot like a certain teacher from high school.
And it kind of terrifies me. I would have to face some things that I fear. Getting in front of people. Speaking. Can I do it? Yes probably? Will it get easier as I do it? Yes. But the thought of it? Well it is probably one of the main reasons why I am debating it.
So why then am I even considering this? To challenge myself, to prove that I can get out of that comfort zone. To say, you can do this. You are not the person you think you are. A little of me is saying it could even help me out in certain departments. Math and people skills being one of them. Maybe I would even be good at it, will like it. Which would be a total shocker, but hey you never know.
To do something not for anyone else but myself. I can’t remember the last time I truly did something just for myself.
Maybe that is a risk in itself.