Tech Free weekend

This past weekend we went completely tech free. Now I admit it was not done on purpose what so ever. Andy and my dad were out cleaning the backyard, something happened to our Verizon Fios, knocking it out entirely. Which meant that from mid morning on Saturday until early afternoon on Sunday we had no TV, phone or internet.

Now we could complain about this, I could say how horrible it was because I was in the middle of watching the Olympics and they were in the middle of a match. Also because I am running a Thirty-One online party and without the internet, it wouldn’t be easy.  My son could complain that he didn’t get to finish that Disney Infinity game he was in the middle of. And Andy could complain that he couldn’t be glued to his phone.

And you know what. We learned something.

We learned that sometimes, you don’t need any of it to still have a good time. That putting down that phone meant you could actually have a conversation face to face without having to find out what Johnny down the street was having for dinner.

We learned that music from the 90s is still pretty awesome, despite the fact you may have to explain why your 7 year old is singing “My andaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun.” And  yes CDs still work.

We learned that stores still exist. And you know, people still go to them! And little man found out that back to school shopping isn’t all that bad when it means shopping for you.

And we found out, telemarketers will definitely leave you alone when they can’t reach you!

But most of all, we learned that we don;t need any of it to make us happy. In fact we may do this more often.

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First Sales and nailing it.

I MA9dde5ba633a7953a566c6732c8ae0d52DE MY FIRST SALE!

That is right! I sure did.

It may not be a big deal to most. But to me, it was. It was a huge step. I know my launch party isn’t until next Friday, which means I have been sort of quiet and not pushed to much for this month. But this morning I approached a coworker who is soon retiring and I gave her the talk. Because I knew she wouldn’t be able to wait till I put in the order.

I thanked her for everything and handed her a mini catalog and took a deep breath. Alright here it goes! Had she heard of Thirty-One, no not really. Would she be interested in it? Other than the fact she adores my purses and such, which she is forever commenting on I really had no idea. But I had to try.

And you know, she was at least willing to listen.

I have a bit of a confession here. This was the same woman who a few weeks ago was talking about finding her passion as her reason to retire. Because she wants to do something she enjoys. And as she sat there telling me this, I couldn’t help but think about the Thirty-One opportunity that I had been toying with.  She was part of the inspiration for jumping in to this crazy adventure.

When I thanked her for it, told her she inspired me, her face was amazing. And I sold it. I nailed it.  I ended it simply by saying, even if you never look at this, I want you to have my catalog with my information (why not right?) because if nothing more you will look at this and know you inspired at least one person to do something for themselves.

She walked away with a catalog and I walked away with an order. My confidence already growing.

And you know, it wasn’t all that bad either.

 

To take a risk.

I am not a risk taker. I have never been one. Instead I am calculating. I play it safe. Afraid not of the failure, but rather the unknown. Is it worth it? Would it be worth it in the end? I suppose that could be seen as fear of failure though I do not think so. I am also quiet and shy especially until you get to know me.

Why do I bring this up?

Because I have been debating something for awhile now.  What that something is, I am not yet ready to share. I have not yet made up my mind as to whether I will do it or not. I will say it is something totally and completely out of my comfort zone, which has a way of creeping in to my head and telling me I shouldn’t do this. I can’t do this. Ironically  It also sounds a lot like a certain teacher from high school.

And it kind of terrifies me. I would have to face some things that I fear. Getting in front of people. Speaking. Can I do it? Yes probably? Will it get easier as I do it? Yes. But the thought of it? Well it is probably  one of the main reasons why I am debating it.

So why then am I even considering this?  To challenge myself, to prove that I can get out of that comfort zone. To say, you can do this. You are not the person you think you are. A little of me is saying it could even help me out in certain departments. Math and people skills being one of them. Maybe I would even be good at it, will like it. Which would be a total shocker, but hey you never know.

To do something not for anyone else but myself.  I can’t remember the last time I truly did something just for myself.

Maybe that is a risk in itself.

To Andy on our ten year anniversary.

anniversaryTo my dearest Andy-

Ten years…Do you remember when that seemed so long from that night we said I Do? How it surely would never get here. How we would never be that old. And yet somehow here we are. Staring at our ten year anniversary. They weren’t kidding when they said it would be here before we knew it.

It is.

It has been a wild ten years hasn’t it? We have so many changes, have gone through so many changes since that hot evening on Memorial Day weekend ten years ago. I don’t think we realized where our paths would take us back then. That we would have an amazing son who is probably the Worlds best kid. Admit it, he is. While he may look and have my personality do not be fooled, he is your son as well. He can be stubborn and a goof ball. And he loves his mommy just as much as his dad does (ok maybe a little more but this is up for debate) Take it up with him. And the daughter we welcomed last year? I can not wait to see how much joy she will bring in to our lives. I can not wait to see just who she will become.

We have had some hard years there is no doubt about that. Number 7  in particular was exceptionally hard. I don’t think many realize just how close we were to calling it quits. Really really close. Marriage at times is often not what we think it is. It’s not easy. I think we had to learn the hard way that it takes time. It is adjustments and constant reminders to actually put down the phones, the computers, to turn off the televisions and have conversations. To check in. To remind each other that we aren’t just mommy and daddy. That we are husband and wife. Andy and Aleisha. To remind each other that I love you isn’t just some words to mutter at the end of the night. That they actually mean something.

That you mean something to one another.

I learned a lot that year. About myself, about you. About us. I learned how much we loved each other. How much we still love each other. Even if we hated one another for a moment. How I wouldn’t want to go on this ride with any one else. How there are destined to be good years, and bad years. That it is the bad years that make us appreciate the good ones that much more. And how we often learn more about ourselves and our relationships during the bad ones.

We made a lot of changes during that time. We did a lot more talking than I believe we ever had. And for that, I am thankful for the struggles because it taught me this; that I love you more than anything. I did not think it would be possible but somehow that year made us stronger, more solid.

Which brings us to our 10th year. Amazing to think about.

I can’t begin to tell you how thankful I am for you. How much I love you. You have gone above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to husband chores. I can not think of any other guy that automatically does things without asking. I can not begin to tell you how much each time you do something as simple as offer to cut a piece of meat, or help put on a bracelet makes me fall in love with you a little more. Likewise words can not express how much I adore watching you with the kids. The joy they bring to your face is indescribable. The joy you bring to their faces is indescribable. Truly it takes my breath way at times.

Please know this, you are one of the best guys I have ever known. You are one of the best fathers I know. Do not ever doubt this, do not doubt yourself. You are loved. Exceptionally so.

I love you.

No, we do not know what the future holds. I am not so naive to think every year will be spectacular. There will be other challenges to face. Other years that won’t go as according to plans. We will question, we will doubt and we will be tested. But I do know this, no matter what we will face it. We will embrace it.

Together.

And  what about love? Yes, we will love.

Yours truly,

Your wife.

 

Checkups and milestones.

13072812_10154080260310883_1626076372513260510_oWe were finally able to take little miss (and her big brother) to the doctors for their checkups. She would have her 4 month checkup, while little man would have  his 7 year checkup.

I will be honest and say I don’t know what to expect when it comes to these appointments. We know she is running small still, but for a preemie we expected that. That being said, we have seen her grow, we know she is. Still would it be enough? Would they be happy? Time I suppose would tell.

We first had to checkup on little mans progress. As expected he is doing well, chatting with the doctor about his allergies, his karate practice and how he is learning to ride a bike (with a helmet!). He hoped he wouldn’t need shots, and was thrilled when she said he wouldn’t for a couple years. Then it was time for his measurements and to see how much he had grown. Turns out, quite a lot.

He is 48 and a half inches tall, and weighing in at 50 Ibs. She told us he is right on track, 42% on the weight an a little over average (52%) on the height.She said, she expects he will be hitting a growth spurt in the near future. Something tells me I should be prepared to go through a lot of pants in the next couple of months. Thankfully, with summer coming up he can live in shorts.

As he was finishing up, we were anxious to hear about little lady.  We listened as she went over things, during which she got to see little miss in action as she attempted to roll, she made it to her side. She smiled and cooed right on time. Yes everything is looking good. And now for her stats…

She is 22 inches long and 8 Ibs, 9 oz..Just about doubling her birth weight! And amazing for her standards. We were told once again that she is on her on track, her own path and that is alright by them as long as she is growing. She will eventually catch up, it just may not be as fast as the other 4 month old babies. But progress is good.

And while big brother didn’t have to worry about shots, it was another story with little lady. Is there anything worse than sitting and watching while your little one gets shot after shot? I think not.  I hated that she had to go through it, but at the same time know it was necessary.

Next up, an ultrasound to check out the birth mark on her foot before her six month checkup. But otherwise, my little lady, and my little man are doing well and are perfect in their own way.

 

I’m Trying.

I thought this would get easier. This coming back to work. I knew it was going to be an adjustment. I accepted the fact I would eventually have to come back to reality. But a little over a month since my return I still find myself struggling with leaving my daughter behind to go to work.

This is due in part of a lot of back and forth between my company. During maternity leave my company merged with another. Because of this, and while I was on leave somehow a lot of my paperwork has been misplaced, sent to the wrong place or forgotten. In the past month I have gone from not being paid, to somehow being told I was terminated on the very day I had my daughter. I suppose someone lost the paperwork, pushed the wrong button etc while moving me from my old company name to the new. It has bee a nightmare  trying to figure out what has been going on. This weeks latest is due to their error, my insurance has dropped us. Despite paying for it during leave, and now that I am back. Out of my paychecks.

I am told to be patient while they work this out. Things will get taken care of. It will get sorted out. Which is all fine and dandy. But with two kids, one being just about 4 months old and born a preemie, I sort of need things.

Especially when they have doctors appointments on Monday.

Yep. Awesome.

Look I realize things happen. We are all humans, and are not without fault. But these mistakes are becoming my ordeal to deal with on my end as every week seems to be something new. And they definitely do not help my situation what so ever.

But I am trying.

All good things must come to an end.

And so begins the week I have been dreading since I left out on Dec. 15th. The return to work week. For the first time in three months I have had to get up, dress in something other than leggings and over-sized t-shirts and make my way in to the city.

I had to return to traffic. And Metro. That thought alone made me want to cry. I didn’t even want to think about returning to work until I absolutely had to.

I truly enjoyed my time off. I did a lot, or rather I didn’t do a lot. I stayed in, read to my daughter. I went and saw my son in his debut acting performance for his class. I stayed home with both of them for various reasons and loved it. Things that are often so hard to do with a 2 hour commute. I even kept the house up for the most part. I felt accomplished while I was home.  I hated to see it go.

Yes I knew it would have to come to an end. I had even been trying to gear myself up for it for awhile. I told myself I was not the only woman to go back to work after a kid. I in fact had done so once before and while I hated it then, everything turned out just fine. Give it a week or two and it will all be OK once more.You will be OK. Having my mom watch her meant I could rest assured knowing she would be in good hands.  She will be OK

Still the thought didn’t make it any easier to get out of bed.

I managed to get through yesterday (my first official day back) with very few break downs. I avoided the clock in attempts to not be thinking what we would be doing about this time. Was there a show on?  I tried not to think about the moments I may be missing, that smile she is throwing around a lot more often now. I even held out as long as I could before breaking down and calling my mom for a check in. I made it to 12:30 in the afternoon.  I did everything I could think of to get me through the day. Knowing that is exactly what I may have to do. Take it day by day. Little by little. We will adjust. I will adjust.

And wouldn’t you know, somehow I made it through the day. Miraculously. Maybe I didn’t get a whole lot done other than cleaning out my email, most of which was old and irrelevant at this point. But I made it through. I did it.

It was a start.

I will be OK. She will be OK.

2 month checkup

IMG_5127Little lady had her two month appointment this morning. I find it hard to believe we have somehow already made it to this point. Everything checked out well, as expected.

She came in at 6 ibs 15 oz. and is 19 3/4 long. Yes small on most scales at 2 months but considering she is a preemie, she has her own scale to go by.

Also as expected she isn’t fond of shots. Then again neither is her big brother. I suppose no kid is truly.  I admit I couldn’t watch them give her shots. I had Andy do it. Which is funny considering I myself would rather get a shot any day over swallowing pills.

We discussed a rose mark on her foot, should be nothing but pics are being sent to the dermatologist just to make sure. We are told it will be monitored but they don’t seem concerned. Then again we have been monitored for just about everything

Other than that all looked well, and she is doing really well.  As for Anderson and I, we are just happy to see she is finally moving in to all those newborn outfits!

Here’s to 7!

image1I am having a hard time with the fact my sweet amazing little boy turned 7 this week. When did this happen? He wasn’t supposed to get this old (yes  I know just wait for the years to come). But truly how?

I don’t know about you but there are certain ages that just seem so much older than others. 7 for instance is one of them. I realized he is no longer that little boy anymore. No, he is just now a boy. Those toys that were once cherished are now being replaced with toys that in the next age level. In fact he is quite proud that those Lego sets read for ages 7-14 now and he can indeed actually get them without having to worry that they may be to advanced for him. And he informed us that he is to old to say Daddy. He hasn’t mentioned letting go of mommy, though I will not be surprised if that too is gone.

And yet, as much as he may say he is older, he still remains that same sweet little boy. He still crawls in to bed with me in the morning to steal some extra snuggle time. He still cries when he skins his knees, and he still prefers spending time with us over his friends. I shall cherish it for as long as I can, knowing that eventually this will fade. And he still reminds me that I am his best friend, and he is my little boy no matter how old he may be and to remember that. Shouldn’t I be the one to remind him?

Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such a sweet and caring boy.

But I will gladly take it. Here is to the next 7 years little man.

Six Week check in.

So far so good. For the most part. Little lady seems to be growing as we are finally getting in to newborn clothes. They are still a bit big but at least we are making progress. She experienced her first big snowstorm, 30 inches of it to be exact. I doubt she will remember it and because of her size and the fact she is so little the better part of the storm was spent in doors. Even Logan wasn’t all that impressed with the snow, in fact it took him a bit to go out and enjoy it. One more sign that he truly is my son.

Back to Harper. She has been a bit of a fussy pants lately. Yes babies do tend to be fussy from time to time but this was exceptionally so.  I began seeing a pattern with her feedings.  She would eat like she was hungry but would soon puke the entire thing back up. While I knew spit up was typical, this was not. I ended up calling the doctor at which point we had to change her feeding times to a lot more often with not as much amount.  Whether it was a stomach issue, or not it helped as she has once again seemed to be one happy little camper and is back on track.

She is also really picking up her head, and looking around, I really wish I would know what she is thinking. I would love to know. Every now and then I catch her cooing and a tiny smile. Though she has yet to allow me to capture it on the camera!

As for me, I am just trying to enjoy every little moment with her during the day while I can. I spend my days not on the computer but talking, singing and really trying to capture the time as best as I can.

And that is enough.