Checkups and milestones.

13072812_10154080260310883_1626076372513260510_oWe were finally able to take little miss (and her big brother) to the doctors for their checkups. She would have her 4 month checkup, while little man would have  his 7 year checkup.

I will be honest and say I don’t know what to expect when it comes to these appointments. We know she is running small still, but for a preemie we expected that. That being said, we have seen her grow, we know she is. Still would it be enough? Would they be happy? Time I suppose would tell.

We first had to checkup on little mans progress. As expected he is doing well, chatting with the doctor about his allergies, his karate practice and how he is learning to ride a bike (with a helmet!). He hoped he wouldn’t need shots, and was thrilled when she said he wouldn’t for a couple years. Then it was time for his measurements and to see how much he had grown. Turns out, quite a lot.

He is 48 and a half inches tall, and weighing in at 50 Ibs. She told us he is right on track, 42% on the weight an a little over average (52%) on the height.She said, she expects he will be hitting a growth spurt in the near future. Something tells me I should be prepared to go through a lot of pants in the next couple of months. Thankfully, with summer coming up he can live in shorts.

As he was finishing up, we were anxious to hear about little lady.  We listened as she went over things, during which she got to see little miss in action as she attempted to roll, she made it to her side. She smiled and cooed right on time. Yes everything is looking good. And now for her stats…

She is 22 inches long and 8 Ibs, 9 oz..Just about doubling her birth weight! And amazing for her standards. We were told once again that she is on her on track, her own path and that is alright by them as long as she is growing. She will eventually catch up, it just may not be as fast as the other 4 month old babies. But progress is good.

And while big brother didn’t have to worry about shots, it was another story with little lady. Is there anything worse than sitting and watching while your little one gets shot after shot? I think not.  I hated that she had to go through it, but at the same time know it was necessary.

Next up, an ultrasound to check out the birth mark on her foot before her six month checkup. But otherwise, my little lady, and my little man are doing well and are perfect in their own way.

 

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I’m Trying.

I thought this would get easier. This coming back to work. I knew it was going to be an adjustment. I accepted the fact I would eventually have to come back to reality. But a little over a month since my return I still find myself struggling with leaving my daughter behind to go to work.

This is due in part of a lot of back and forth between my company. During maternity leave my company merged with another. Because of this, and while I was on leave somehow a lot of my paperwork has been misplaced, sent to the wrong place or forgotten. In the past month I have gone from not being paid, to somehow being told I was terminated on the very day I had my daughter. I suppose someone lost the paperwork, pushed the wrong button etc while moving me from my old company name to the new. It has bee a nightmare  trying to figure out what has been going on. This weeks latest is due to their error, my insurance has dropped us. Despite paying for it during leave, and now that I am back. Out of my paychecks.

I am told to be patient while they work this out. Things will get taken care of. It will get sorted out. Which is all fine and dandy. But with two kids, one being just about 4 months old and born a preemie, I sort of need things.

Especially when they have doctors appointments on Monday.

Yep. Awesome.

Look I realize things happen. We are all humans, and are not without fault. But these mistakes are becoming my ordeal to deal with on my end as every week seems to be something new. And they definitely do not help my situation what so ever.

But I am trying.

Things I do not miss.

Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. There are some moments that we will always cherish and remember. Even miss from time to time. But lets face it, pregnancy isn’t always wonderful, it can be painful towards the end even. And if I am going to be completely honest, there are things I absolutely do not miss.

Like dressing for work.

Sure on the weekends, I could get away with over-sized t-shirts I swiped from my husbands closet, and comfy leggings. But when it came to work clothes while I was pregnant? Yes I could pretty much forget about it. Especially towards the last stages when I couldn’t exactly hide that little belly I had in front of me. In fact I am pretty sure  I went through the last month or two wearing the same five outfits.Granted I could have gone out and bought more but as I knew little lady was coming early, I didn’t see the point in going out and buying new ones once I hit the month to go.

And that fashion? I know people always comment about how much cuter maternity clothes are these days thanks to Jessica Simpson and others who are at least attempting to make it be more stylish. Yet I searched local stores,  pinned outfits on Pinterest and hit up every magazine order looking for something. But I could never seem to find anything “cute” while I was expecting. Especially in the work clothes department. The stores either didn’t have my size, length or had never sold the outfit I was in hopes of. I remember quite vividly being told that they don’t sell them in my size because that would encourage teenage kids to become pregnant and then suggested I hit up the internet for them.  Which may have been fine had they not cost me an arm and leg in order to do so. So if there were cute clothes out there to be had, I had not found them.

Yes there are things I miss about being pregnant, I miss the excitement of knowing she was coming soon. I miss feeling her kick and play. And I miss the moments when I had her all to myself, before the outside world welcomed her.

But clothing? Is not one of them.

All good things must come to an end.

And so begins the week I have been dreading since I left out on Dec. 15th. The return to work week. For the first time in three months I have had to get up, dress in something other than leggings and over-sized t-shirts and make my way in to the city.

I had to return to traffic. And Metro. That thought alone made me want to cry. I didn’t even want to think about returning to work until I absolutely had to.

I truly enjoyed my time off. I did a lot, or rather I didn’t do a lot. I stayed in, read to my daughter. I went and saw my son in his debut acting performance for his class. I stayed home with both of them for various reasons and loved it. Things that are often so hard to do with a 2 hour commute. I even kept the house up for the most part. I felt accomplished while I was home.  I hated to see it go.

Yes I knew it would have to come to an end. I had even been trying to gear myself up for it for awhile. I told myself I was not the only woman to go back to work after a kid. I in fact had done so once before and while I hated it then, everything turned out just fine. Give it a week or two and it will all be OK once more.You will be OK. Having my mom watch her meant I could rest assured knowing she would be in good hands.  She will be OK

Still the thought didn’t make it any easier to get out of bed.

I managed to get through yesterday (my first official day back) with very few break downs. I avoided the clock in attempts to not be thinking what we would be doing about this time. Was there a show on?  I tried not to think about the moments I may be missing, that smile she is throwing around a lot more often now. I even held out as long as I could before breaking down and calling my mom for a check in. I made it to 12:30 in the afternoon.  I did everything I could think of to get me through the day. Knowing that is exactly what I may have to do. Take it day by day. Little by little. We will adjust. I will adjust.

And wouldn’t you know, somehow I made it through the day. Miraculously. Maybe I didn’t get a whole lot done other than cleaning out my email, most of which was old and irrelevant at this point. But I made it through. I did it.

It was a start.

I will be OK. She will be OK.

2 month checkup

IMG_5127Little lady had her two month appointment this morning. I find it hard to believe we have somehow already made it to this point. Everything checked out well, as expected.

She came in at 6 ibs 15 oz. and is 19 3/4 long. Yes small on most scales at 2 months but considering she is a preemie, she has her own scale to go by.

Also as expected she isn’t fond of shots. Then again neither is her big brother. I suppose no kid is truly.  I admit I couldn’t watch them give her shots. I had Andy do it. Which is funny considering I myself would rather get a shot any day over swallowing pills.

We discussed a rose mark on her foot, should be nothing but pics are being sent to the dermatologist just to make sure. We are told it will be monitored but they don’t seem concerned. Then again we have been monitored for just about everything

Other than that all looked well, and she is doing really well.  As for Anderson and I, we are just happy to see she is finally moving in to all those newborn outfits!

Here’s to 7!

image1I am having a hard time with the fact my sweet amazing little boy turned 7 this week. When did this happen? He wasn’t supposed to get this old (yes  I know just wait for the years to come). But truly how?

I don’t know about you but there are certain ages that just seem so much older than others. 7 for instance is one of them. I realized he is no longer that little boy anymore. No, he is just now a boy. Those toys that were once cherished are now being replaced with toys that in the next age level. In fact he is quite proud that those Lego sets read for ages 7-14 now and he can indeed actually get them without having to worry that they may be to advanced for him. And he informed us that he is to old to say Daddy. He hasn’t mentioned letting go of mommy, though I will not be surprised if that too is gone.

And yet, as much as he may say he is older, he still remains that same sweet little boy. He still crawls in to bed with me in the morning to steal some extra snuggle time. He still cries when he skins his knees, and he still prefers spending time with us over his friends. I shall cherish it for as long as I can, knowing that eventually this will fade. And he still reminds me that I am his best friend, and he is my little boy no matter how old he may be and to remember that. Shouldn’t I be the one to remind him?

Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such a sweet and caring boy.

But I will gladly take it. Here is to the next 7 years little man.

Six Week check in.

So far so good. For the most part. Little lady seems to be growing as we are finally getting in to newborn clothes. They are still a bit big but at least we are making progress. She experienced her first big snowstorm, 30 inches of it to be exact. I doubt she will remember it and because of her size and the fact she is so little the better part of the storm was spent in doors. Even Logan wasn’t all that impressed with the snow, in fact it took him a bit to go out and enjoy it. One more sign that he truly is my son.

Back to Harper. She has been a bit of a fussy pants lately. Yes babies do tend to be fussy from time to time but this was exceptionally so.  I began seeing a pattern with her feedings.  She would eat like she was hungry but would soon puke the entire thing back up. While I knew spit up was typical, this was not. I ended up calling the doctor at which point we had to change her feeding times to a lot more often with not as much amount.  Whether it was a stomach issue, or not it helped as she has once again seemed to be one happy little camper and is back on track.

She is also really picking up her head, and looking around, I really wish I would know what she is thinking. I would love to know. Every now and then I catch her cooing and a tiny smile. Though she has yet to allow me to capture it on the camera!

As for me, I am just trying to enjoy every little moment with her during the day while I can. I spend my days not on the computer but talking, singing and really trying to capture the time as best as I can.

And that is enough.

On my Own.

Up until yesterday I had not had been on my own for a full day with both kids  When Logan is in school, my days have been filled with girl time.  And on the weekends, Andy is around to help out. I knew it was going to happen, and I would be on my own with both of them eventually. I will admit, the thought actually kind of scared me. Will I be OK? Would I forget to feed Logan while I was changing Harper’s diaper. Would the house fall apart.

Turns out. I did rather well. I got to both breakfast and lunch-grilled cheese at that!-two loads of laundry and a round of dishes and hey even managed to fold them! A huge accomplishment.

There was no struggle to entertain Logan while taking care of Harper. I built (or at least started to) a Darth Vader Lego set, though it was to complicated to finish-apparently I am not as Lego savvy as I thought.I will admit, Logan is an easy going kid, and is old enough to not only help out but do things on his own-and at times even prefers it-and while Harper napped we even got in a round of go fish or two. By the time Andy was on his way home, I had the house pretty much in order, both kids happy and was feeling quite accomplished.

Sure we stayed in our pajamas for the entire day, but something I suppose had to give.

 

 

The two kid juggle.

Thus begins another week. Somehow we managed to make it through the first week back for Andy, and mine with just little lady and I. Though I confess my mom came over a couple times last week to sit with us. Even still with the visit I believe we are settling in quite nicely. While Andy and Logan are off to school and work, my days are spent enjoying time with Harper, attempting to clean during nap times-which depending on the day is easier said than done- and watching hours of endless junk TV. Yes I had forgotten how much crap is on in the middle of the day. But it is mindless and with a newborn I don’t need something that will make my brain hurt.

My evenings seem to be a little more hectic than they once were. We may have a newborn but we also have a nearly 7 year old first grader with homework that needs to get done.  Who still loves to curl up with us and  deserves just as much  of our time and our attention. I considered it a huge success when we managed to set up and get the invitations out for his birthday party in a few weeks.

I will admit trying to juggle between both of them and making sure I get to everything is some what of a work in progress still. We have however started a new tradition. Once a weekend after we put Harper to bed, Logan pulls out a board game that he wants to play with Andy and I. It may not be much, but it his time with us. A time when all of our focus is back on him and him alone.

I have also been trying hard to include him in on things, letting him know that we did a lot of the same things for him when he was a newborn. It is hard considering back when I was expecting with him and the first little while of his life Pinterest, Etsy and even Twitter were not what they are today. Yes I still did the hand prints, the footprints and have thousands of pictures but now with social media in the mix comes a thousand more creative ideas to do.  There is absolutely a certain amount of guilt when it comes to making things and keepsakes for her. Afraid that Logan will think I am going overboard for her and did nothing for him.

Though I am pretty sure if you asked him he would tell me everything is fine. Because that is the kind of kid he is.

Adjustment

1917085_10208342595581472_257251312139074414_nIt was a relatively quiet holiday season for this family. Unlike most of the winter breaks in the past, this one found us staying home a lot more than normal. No, we did not spend the two weeks locked away in the house entirely. We managed to see family, did a little shopping and celebrated the holidays and got out, even if it was just to drive around. Yes we were advised to take it easy, but at the same time we were told to enjoy the holidays and with a soon to be 7 year old, staying wrapped up in the great indoors for two full straight weeks is not as easy as thought.

Especially when Star Wars came out. There was no way they were going to miss it.

I have been asked how we are adjusting to being a family of four. How Logan is adjusting to being a big brother. So far so good (though ask me after this week when Anderson goes back to work) I will admit, you tend to forget how much stuff you have to lug around when you have a newborn and how much extra time it takes. I think that may be the biggest adjustment on everyone’s part. Logan is so used to just going going going, now that Harper is in the picture we have to plan things out. He has to wait for things a little more, put up with a little more.

Still he is doing really well. He has managed to get the whole pacifier thing down in the car when neither Andy or myself can exactly do it. And he adores her, I am amazed at just how much so. He is also becoming quite the protective one over her.

The one thing he doesn’t like is looking at anything girly. After years of nothing but looking at Star Wars, and trucks, cars and anything boyish, he doesn’t quite get the whole looking at things that aren’t the things he is interested in. But he says maybe they can come to some sort of compromise.

What that compromise is he has yet to say. But knowing my son as I do, perhaps I should be afraid whatever it is.